


Maybe

by AmestIbovvered



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 21:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7454167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmestIbovvered/pseuds/AmestIbovvered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is entirely based on the scenes from the trailer for 4x10. Allie gets hurt and Bea can't stand to watch. As she tries to rescue Allie, Bea's internal battle ensues on what she should do next. Will mind or heart win?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe

 

She had let her guard down and nearly died because of it, because of _her_. Still, the instant Allie was shoved on the ground, something clicked in Bea. A crowd had circled around the blonde, who was high out of her mind. Bea had been keeping an eye on her, but from a distance. Everything was foggy, and even if Allie wasn't in on the plan, she was the reason Bea had become vulnerable. Weak. An easy target.

But in that moment, all the anger vanished. Bea was pulling the women off of Allie in no time, with the help of Boomer. Everyone stared as Bea scooped up the blue eyed mess off of the ground. "Bea-but-why are you helping her, huh?" She heard Boomer call out to her, as Bea headed away from the scene.

"Not now," Bea yelled back, her voice harsher than she had intended it to be. She didn't know what she was doing or where she was going, but she needed to get away.

Bea ended up in the showers, carefully setting Allie down on the bench.

Bea walked back and forth, over and over and over again until even Allie couldn't stand the sound of the rubber scraping on the floor.

"Bea Smith, my fuckin hero," Allie snorted out, still lying on her back.

"I'm no hero. Look at the good it did you, thinking I was your fucking savior. Being the reason you stayed off of the gear. You're back on the shit in two seconds. You're a bloody mess. I don't even recognize you anymore," Bea shouted. She still didn't know what she was doing, dragging Allie off like she had. She punched the wall, trying to cool off. Trying to regain her stamina. Trying to focus on something, but the world still seemed to be spinning.

"I didn't ask for your help now did I? Load of help you and Kaz are. Shoulda just let them finish me off. Wouldn't be a fucking burden on you then, now would I?" Allie managed to pull herself up against the wall, and Bea saw the blood on her face.

"Shit. Shit. I didn't- I didn't ask for this, you know. To have my heart- but it doesn't matter now. If Kaz and her crew won't look after you, I will. But that's it. Nothing else. But you gotta pull yourself together first, because I can't even look at you right now," Bea jerked her head away from Allie's direction. Her jaw clenched, and her eyes closed for a moment, trying to picture the scene. The women's faces who had done this to Allie. Even if they had been provoked, Bea wanted to exact revenge. She wanted them to pay- but it wasn't possible. She wasn't afforded that luxury as top dog. She had to stay in control, especially of herself and personal feelings.

"Bea- I'm sorry. I know you're tired of hearing that from me, but I am. And, thank you," Allie choked out, starting to regain herself.

"No, it's not you. I mean it is you. Fuck. It's just, when I'm around you- I can't think straight," Bea shook her head, her hands running through her hair, scratching almost too hard on the scalp.

"Now that's a compliment. Come sit here, I'll definitely help you to not think straight," Allie smiled and gestured to the seat right next to her. Her blue eyes lightened the room, and Bea felt dizzy again.

It seemed Bea was ignoring Allie's call, as she headed over to the sink. She turned the faucet on, and waited a few seconds for the water to get cold. She scooped her hands under the water, letting them fill up, before she tossed the water on her face. Control. She needed to stay in control.

Bea dampened a handful of paper towels and carefully walked towards Allie.

"For me? Bea, you shouldn't have," Allie teases, but her eyes remain focused on Bea. They are serious, almost frightened. She's just a girl, Bea reminds herself. A girl who has been through so much shit. They both had.

Bea sits herself next to Allie and without hesitation Allie pulls in closer. Their hips are touching, and Bea has to keep reminding herself that she can't do anything. Her power on the outside was dwindling, and if she falls, she doesn't need Allie to crash down with her.

"Let me know if I'm hurting you," Bea almost sings out, her voice gentle, soft. Allie reckons it was the voice she used to use on Debbie whenever she was in pain.

Allie bites her tongue, and lets Bea gently dab the towel on her forehead. Bea Smith, top dog, getting her hands bloody for a girl who broke her heart.

"Bea- I love you," the words slip out of Allie, and Bea pulls away. Her face gets a cold, hard look on it.

I love you too. That's what Bea wanted to say, that's what her body craved. The affection, the stolen kisses, the smiles...

"That's a shame," Bea regretfully responds instead. But she had to remind herself that she was saying it, in a distorted sense. This was how she had to love Allie, from a distance. From afar. Because it was too much. And the risk was too great.

Allie bit her lip, and tried her hardest to hold back tears. All she could muster up was a tight nod. But she was shaking, possibly from coming down from the drugs. Or because her heart had just shattered.

"I-I don't fucking believe you," Allie grabbed Bea's sweater and yanked her towards her. She shoved her mouth against hers, but kept the tight hold on Bea.

Bea tried to shove off, but she broke. So quickly, so openly. She was powerless, but at the same moment never felt stronger.

Allie let go of Bea, but the kiss lingered. Less hungry now, but still passionate. Bea broke away, playfully shoving Allie.

"Oh, fuck me," Bea spat out, cursing to herself.

"I'm trying," Allie teased, giving Bea a wink.

Bea looked at the woman in front of her, so desperate, so strong, so naive. She loved her, after the first kiss. Maybe even before that moment. She fell hard. This was the closest she had ever come to an addiction, a craving. A need. She needed Allie, and that too terrified the shit out of her.

Bea got up and headed to the door. Her fingers rolled on the handle, as she spun around to Allie.

"I'm getting you moved to my unit, We'll protect you. I'll talk to Liz and Boomer and the whole lot about us. They'll understand. I need people I can trust now more than ever, and- I trust you, Allie. I do. And that scares the shit out of me because I- fuck- I do love you. Like I'm fucking mental for you, alright? So you get off the gear, and we can be a proper couple or whatever. But you get clean first. I need you as you, okay? Good," Bea fumbled her words. She started off strong, but then her heart took over, and that was still so new to this. This feeling of- hope. Wanting. Loving...

"Alright, I'll get my shit together, I promise Bea. But, uh, when it comes to asking for bedroom arrangements, tell the Governor I'll just shack up in your room, yeah? That way you can keep 24/7 surveillance on me. For my own safety, of course. No ulterior motives," Allie replied, trying to keep a straight face.

"Yeah, sure. I'll get right on that," Bea shook her head and gave one last look at Allie before leaving the room.

She knew she'd beat herself up over the change in plans later that night, but for the moment, Bea Smith was madly in love and everything else be damned.


End file.
